October 31^st - The Ninety Five Theses

On this day, in 1517, Martin Luther nailed his complaints to the door of a church and all American slaves were freed, some hundred years before being enslaved. Actually that was Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I forgive you for your mistake.
 
Martin Luther took issue with the Church and their sales of indulgences, which are like a get-out-of-hell-free card. You commit murder and lay down some cold, hard cash to get away with it. What's wrong with that?
 
Luther didn't like these shenanigans so he posted 95 theses as a protest. These included:

• Number 66 The treasures of the indulgences are nets with which they now fish for the riches of men.

• Number 53 The assurance of salvation by letters of pardon is vain, even though the commissary, nay, even though the pope himself, were to stake his soul upon it.

• Legs 11. What's the deal with the Pope and his massive hat? It's huge.

Luther started whinging because some people he knew purchased indulgences to pay for their sins. He believed that forgiveness was a divine right, given by God, and could only be purchased with three easy payments of $39.95, please send your credit card details to

GOD
The Pearly Gates
Heaven, 0001

Luther's protest is considered the beginning of Protestantism. Obvioulsy it is because you can't spell Protestant without protest. People were fed up with the Pope and his giant hat. They wanted a direct line to God and were sick of middlemen jacking up the price.